Turning a Personal Crisis Around.

Challenges are part of everyone’s life, but there are dark moments when a challenge turns into a crisis. The outcome of our lives depends on the choices we make at those moments. Will they be breakthroughs or setbacks? People usually make their most important decisions based on impulse or its opposite, habit.

It might seem impossible to think that three questions can—and should—be asked any time that things go wrong, but millions of us dwell instead on the three questions we shouldn’t ask: 1. What’s wrong with me? 2. Who can I blame? 3. What’s the worst-case scenario?

These three questions will haunt you unless you consciously stop asking them and replace them with the right questions, leading to the right actions. Here are the three positive, self-affirming questions that will serve you well in your next tough situation:

1. Is this a problem I should fix, put up with, or walk away from?

Unless you can answer this question clearly and rationally, your vision will be clouded. Without knowing it, you will be acting under the influence of negative emotions like fear. You will give in to impulsiveness or else fall back on old habits.

You must clarify your inner confusion. You must get your bearings in a reasonable way. The first step is to consider—with consultation from those you trust—a course of action that begins with finding a fix. If the fix isn’t there, ask why. Perhaps someone is blocking you or you lack the resources of money and time. Yet it is always worthwhile searching for a fix and committing yourself to finding one. Only when you feel satisfied that you’ve exhausted your realistic options should you accept putting up with the situation. Generally, this alternative is wise when patience makes sense (rather than being another word for passivity). Putting up with bad situations isn’t always preferable to walking away, either. These are decisions to face after you cannot find a fix.

The three alternatives are easier than they sound because most people vacillate when things go bad. One day they wishfully hope for a fix and maybe take a few steps toward it. The next day they feel passive and victimized, so they put up with things as they are. The third day they are sick and tired of suffering and simply want to escape. The overall result is self-defeating. No solution can ever be found by running in three different directions. So clarify your situation and act on what you clearly see.

2. Who can I consult who has solved the same problem successfully?

Bad things aren’t solved in isolation, yet there is no doubt that our reactions do isolate us. We become afraid and depressed. We draw into ourselves. Around the edges, we entertain shame and guilt, and once these appear, there is even more reason to shut down.

Finding someone who has gone through the same crisis that you are facing accomplishes several things at once. It gives you an example to follow, a confidant who understands your plight, and an alternative to withdrawing into isolation. Victims always feel alone and helpless. So reach out to someone who has proven, through their own lives, that they were not victimized by the bad thing you are facing now.

We aren’t talking about hand-holding, shared misery, or even therapy. All of those activities can be beneficial (or not), but there’s no substitute for talking to a person who has entered a dark place and come out successfully. Where do you find such a person? Ask around, tell your story, seek support groups, and go online to find blogs and forums—the possibilities are much greater than ever before. And don’t stop until you find, not just good advice, but real empathy from someone you trust.

3. How can I reach deeper into myself for solutions?

There is just no getting around the conclusion that turning bad things into good things is up to you. No one can be there all the time, and like it or not, crises are all-consuming. You find yourself facing an inner world that is suddenly full of threats, fears, illusions, wishful thinking, denial, distractions, and conflict. The world “out there” won’t change until the world “in here” does.

There is a simple spiritual truth that I deeply believe in: the level of the solution is never found at the level of the problem. Knowing this, you can escape many traps that people fall into. What exists at the level of the problem? Repetitive thinking that gets nowhere. Old conditioning that keeps applying yesterday’s outworn choices. Lots of obsessive thinking and stalled action. I could go on. But the relevant insight is that you have more than one level of awareness, and at a deeper level there is untapped creativity and insight.

Your higher self contains the potential for new solutions, but you must find it. Instead of the higher self, you can substitute any term that applies—soul, Atman, Holy Spirit, muse, inspiration—because linguistics are not nearly as important as the experience itself. You must experience the place inside where the light dawns and brings hope, where peace is possible, and where there is certainty about finding a viable path forward.

It’s not a mystery that such a place can be reached, because even in the worst crisis we experience flashes of it. The trick is to be able to inhabit the level of awareness that brings solutions. First, know that this level exists. Second, make a plan to get there, through all the techniques open to everyone: meditation, reflection, contemplation, and prayer. Reduce your stress by every means you can find. Seek others who understand consciousness. Read books that inspire you but also books that realistically describe what it means to go on the inward journey. I’ve given an abbreviated plan of action, yet the important thing is that you take the first steps inside.

I urge you to quit the majority who live in confusion and conflict  Join the minority who sees a clear path out of present darkness, that never submits to fear and despair, and that in truth leads the world into a future full of light.

DEEPAK CHOPRA MD, FACP, FRCP, is a Consciousness Explorer and a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation. Chopra is co-founder of DeepakChopra.ai, his AI twin and well-being advisor. He also co-founded Cyberhuman, a transformative suite of personalized health and well-being solutions. Chopra is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of California, San Diego, and serves as a senior scientist with Gallup Organization. He is also an Honorary Fellow in Medicine at the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Glasgow. He is the author of over 95 books, translated into over forty-three languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers.

For the last thirty years, Chopra has been at the forefront of the meditation revolution. His mission is to create a more balanced, peaceful, joyful, and healthier world. Through his teachings, he guides individuals to embrace their inherent strength, wisdom, and potential for personal and societal transformation.

In his latest book, *Digital Dharma* (Harmony/Rodale, 09/17/24), Chopra navigates the balance between technology and expanded awareness, explaining that while AI cannot duplicate human intelligence, it can vastly enhance personal and spiritual growth. TIME magazine has described Dr. Chopra as “one of their top 100 most influential people.” www.deepakchopra.com