Should I convert my religion for marriage?.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
“I am at a point in my life where I have many decisions to make.
At present I am non-religious (I was born into a Hindu family) and have been dating a Muslim man for 5 years now.
He was never religious until fairly recently and I am now required to convert if we wish to marry which both of us want so dearly.
I have no idea how to make this decision.
The first thing that popped out of my mouth when we decided to maintain a serious relationship was, “Are you going to ask me to convert.”
His response was a non-committal “let’s just enjoy the moment, we haven’t even reached that point yet.”
Subsequently, especially in recent years the thought of having to change who I was has been at the forefront of my mind.
Have I created this situation that now requires me to change and embrace a religion that I have reservations about simply by focusing so much on not wanting to change?
It is time for us both to make some decisions.
Every time we begin to discuss if I have made a decision about converting my mind goes blank, I don’t know what to say and am confused because I have trouble trusting the intentions of all the religious leaders etc.
So I have some questions:
- How do I go about making the decision about conversion? I have read up quite extensively on Islam from pro and anti-Islamic sources. It has only brought on more confusion. I don’t know whether I believe that any 1 religion holds exclusive rights to the ‘truth’. Apart from that, I have read the Quran and have been disturbed by a lot of the contents of it.
- Is it possible to manifest specifics, for example manifest my desire to marry this specific person?
- If I wish to manifest him accepting me as I am and he has an opposing want which is that of me converting does it mean our desires cancel each other out?
- How do I go about deciding what my desires are instead of living in a constant state of self-doubt? “
Response:
If you see your religion as your relationship to God, then I think it is obvious that it needs to be something that you choose out of your own inner dictates.
Your path to the Divine has to come in the way that feels right for you and when you are ready for it.
If religion is simply a set of external customs that don’t mean much to you and which you are willing to accommodate for the sake of being with someone you love, then it might not matter—like adapting to the customs of a different country that you want to live in.
I believe the dilemma you are in is not about manifesting what you want, it’s about compelling you to examine your spiritual values and priorities before you get married.
Your letter mentions that you were concerned about the issue of conversion from the beginning when it was dismissed.
You have also expressed concern around issues of exclusive truth in Islam, trusting Muslim leadership and parts of the Qur’an.
Have you discussed your doubts with your boyfriend?
What was his response?
Is there any way you can imagine that your reservations would go away?
I think your mind goes blank over this topic because you are feeling trapped into accepting a set of religious tenets you don’t want as a necessary part of the deal of marrying the man you love.
You haven’t explored your spiritual foundations enough to determine if you can live with this deal or not.
So like it or not, you now have to determine what truly matters in your life and be ready to live with the consequences.
In the process you will have the opportunity to learn much more about your boyfriend.
For example, ask him why it matters so much to him that you convert to a set of beliefs that you don’t really believe in?
Ask him if he would be willing to convert to Hinduism or become non-religious like yourself?
What spiritual goal is accomplished by imposing a path to God on someone who doesn’t want it?
Is that loving or respectful?
Are those the values of someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Love,
Deepak
