Passive Aggressive Sister.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
Dear Dr. Chopra Can you please advise me: How do I cope with a family member that practices persistent passive-aggression towards me? I am biologically very close to this person ( she is an older sibling) and have apologized to her for any real or perceived wrongs I have done her. I have told her I love her and have tried to gently explain to her how hurt I get from the choices she makes when she interacts with me. Using imagery I bring this person into my daily meditation space – I imagine her whole and happy, and I try to evoke memories of a joyous time spent together although this is sometimes difficult because , as far back as I can remember, I have strong memories of this person being emotionally and/or physically cruel. During my meditation I also apologize for anything I may have done to her unwittingly in the past, I ask for her forgiveness, I thank her for things she has brought to my life and I tell her I love her. Doing this helps me to cope with the deep pain I feel inside but, I fear, on some days I cannot help myself spiraling into depression, deep feelings of hurt and very often – anger about the situation. Is it best to avoid such people in one’s life – even if they are close relatives? I really do not know what to do as even when we are not together and long distances separate us, I suffer because of the situation. Any guidance will be gratefully received. Light and Love
Response:
You have communicated your feelings to her and have been practicing all the right things for your relationship with her, but the reason why your feelings haven’t changed is because there are some unconscious criticisms or judgments you still hold about yourself that you haven’t explored. Your sister’s actions and words are in part, a reflection of your unconscious self-criticism. Once you are aware of these negative beliefs, you can work on releasing them and forgiving yourself. Then you will stop suffering from your relationship with your sister, whether you are near her or not.
Love,
Deepak
