How do we forgive parents who hurt us?.
When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.
Question:
“My Mother and I have a very bad relationship, she is constantly judging and criticizing me for everything I do– the way I raise my kids, my businesses, my friends, and my husband.
She has embarrassed me in front of people, telling them my secrets and making me look really bad.
I have decided to never talk to her again, but I can’t forgive her and I am holding lots of anger towards her.
I don’t feel like this with anyone else in this world.
We are supposed to love our mothers but she is a bad mother, jealous, envious, and hurtful.
I don’t know what to do.”
Response:
I understand you feel hurt, angry, and also guilty about having those feelings.
But you don’t need to make any permanent decisions about whether you will ever talk to your mother again for the rest of your life.
And similarly, don’t feel you need to rush into forgiveness before you are genuinely in that place.
For now, it is enough to give yourself space from her to regain your inner calm and composure.
When you feel more settled, and you feel ready, you can tell your mother that even if she can’t stop thinking in a critical and judgmental way, you expect her to stop speaking her judgments and criticisms.
If she can learn to do that, then you could offer her a chance to begin rebuilding a relationship based on mutual respect, honor, and love.
If she says she can’t or won’t, then you need to assess whether you are strong enough to ignore her destructive behavior, or if you need to give it still more time.
Love,
Deepak
