I am 36, decided a new path in life, following my heart, leaving my career to become a therapist, something I wanted since I was a child. Struggled through personal therapy for years, following a spiritual path which you as well as many others have set through speaking to my heart. Thank you for that. My current issue is that its been almost 10 years I have been without a relationship. Struggling with my past where I grew up in a home where love did not exist amongst my parents as my father continued to love his ex wife after marrying my mom, my mom not being able to pull him into a loving hug and sanctuary with her, using me and my brother as objects of love and acceptance. Metaphorically speaking of course.
I grew up being angry at men and scared of intimacy, too close to my mother, in a relationship which seems more like a marriage amongst us, as my therapist put it. I have been struggling with my subconscious for years, yet consciously seeking to find a partner with whom I will share Life as it so wonderfully unfolds now in front of me. Unfortunately it seems my subconscious is stronger for I do not see anything happening, not even a sign of a flirt. I exercise yoga, I visualize, I meditate, I am in therapy, I am positive, I am lost and found as we all are throughout life. What else can I do? What is that which is keeping me there and I cannot subconsciously let the bond which holds me strongly attached to my mother go?